I left Di sleeping (something she does a lot of now) but returned at 5pm to join her for Christmas dinner. It was turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy....the usual Christmas dinner. Dessert was a chocolate cheesecake which Di really enjoyed. Then I took her to her room to rest while I did her hair and put cream on her. She fell asleep.
The next day when I went to see her she was grumpy and agitated. Nothing seemed to be okay. She wanted to leave and come home with me. I am used to these mood changes now and know how to respond to them. She shows signs of frustration, anger, and sorrow. Often she will cry for no reason...at least she can't tell one why she is crying. And so it goes. The next day she may be docile; the next day she might be "up",quite coherent and talkative.
Dianna is hard to understand now. Words and expressions that have no meaning in the context of discussion at the moment leaving one unable to decipher her thoughts. One now watches facial expressions to guess the context and mood. Because she can no longer communicate other residence of the Lodge ignore her. Staff are good at getting the gist of her thoughts and can read her moods very well.
As we get close to New Years only Lisa is here. We are going to see Di at noon today and taking a hotdog and a beer for her. When Lisa asked her if their was anything she would like this is what she asked for. It will be interesting to see how she reacts when we bring them to her.
I have to talk about something that is very difficult but I feel that anyone reading this blog should know. About a week ago Dianna told me that she knew she was at the end of her life. I asked her if this scared her to which she replied "no". All I could say was that I would miss her terribly. Then I had to get out of there to face my own sorrow over this brief but very coherent message she gave me.
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