a Hot Dog and a Cold Beer ...

Hi everyone,

As Dad mentioned in his previous posting, Les and I asked Mom during a recent visit if we could bring her anything special. She said 'a hot dog and a cold beer'!  So, that's exactly what Dad and I did yesterday....on the way to visit Mom, we stopped at Costco and picked up a hot dog loaded with mustard, ketchup and relish - her favourite toppings.  We arrived at the lodge just as they were serving lunch in the dining room and decided to move Mom to the activity room to enjoy her special lunch. This way, we could sit with her and enjoy the time with her. When we placed the dog and beer in front of her, we asked her if she remembered her request  - she gave us a big grin and said YES!    And boy did she enjoy her lunch - and the beer was extra special because it was a bottle of Corona which is her favourite.  She guzzled it like it was a hot summer day and the last cervaza on the planet!  What a joy it was for us to experience her enthusiasm and contentment.  A special day...

Una cerveza por favor!

Christmas Story II

 I left Di sleeping (something she does a lot of now) but returned at 5pm to join her for Christmas dinner.  It was turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy....the usual Christmas dinner.  Dessert was a chocolate cheesecake which Di really enjoyed.  Then I took her to her room to rest while I did  her hair and put cream on her.  She fell asleep.
     The next day when I went to see her she was grumpy and agitated.  Nothing seemed to be okay.  She wanted to leave and come home with me.  I am used to these mood changes now and know how to respond to them. She shows signs of frustration, anger, and sorrow.  Often she will cry for no reason...at least she can't tell one why she is crying.  And so it goes. The next day she may be docile; the next day she might be "up",quite coherent and talkative. 
     Dianna is hard to understand now.  Words and expressions that have no meaning in the context of discussion at the moment leaving one unable to decipher her thoughts.  One now watches facial expressions to guess the context and mood.  Because she can no longer communicate other residence of  the Lodge ignore her.  Staff are good at getting the gist of her thoughts and can read her moods very well.
     As we get close to New Years only Lisa is here.  We are going to see Di at noon today and taking a hotdog and a beer for her.  When  Lisa asked her if their was anything she would like this is what she asked for.  It will be interesting to see how she reacts when we bring them to her.
     I have to talk about something that is very difficult but I feel that anyone reading this blog should know.  About a week ago Dianna told me that she knew she was at the end of her life.  I asked her if this scared her to which she replied "no".  All I could say was that I would miss her terribly.  Then I had to get out of there to face my own sorrow over this brief but very coherent message she gave me.

A Christmas Story

I wish I could say this Christmas of 2013 brought us a miracle; that Di would reverse her downward trend; but such is not the case. The miracle was that we were able to have a Christmas with her; possibly the last one.

We (Lisa, Scott, Lynn, and I) had Christmas brunch with Di at  the Lodge. It was a wonderful special Christmas. Di was delighted; it was what she wanted for Christmas-to be with her family. We were also pleased to be able to have this time with her. She enjoyed the grape leaves and sfeeha; Syrian dishes she had not had for some time. Di had Xmas gifts from Elaine Loehr (a special friend from Yellowknife) a nd Cheryl Rousseau,a friend from work here at CFB Comox. We gave her a shawl that Lisa had gotten in Mexico. When it was time to leave (the Lodge gave us a private room for two hours) I took Di into the Activity room were the Lodge had a Christmas gift opening for the residents. Di received two gifts; a shawl and a Starbucks coffee mug.

To be continued.

December visit

Visited Dianna two days ago and yesterday.  She was more alert...back to her old self.  It is a reminder to me that the Alzheimer's downward path is a" long winding road" (to quote the Beetles).  It is good to have her back..  The pics are taken as we sat in the Activity room and sang Christmas carols.  The coffee is mine but that doesn't seem to concern her.  It's a capochino which she likes.  She always forgets to have the mouth part of the cup so she can drink out of it without incident so I keep an eye on it and turn it for her. She remembered a few of the words of some songs e.g. Jingle Bells.  She was enjoying the moment.

Dianna holidays in the Baja 2010-11

Greetings from sunny San Jose Del Cabo on the Baja!  Les and I have been enjoying ourselves at Viva for the almost a week now - my time flies when you're not working!  Weather has been fantastic as usual - maybe a little more cloud then past years, but still hot and the beach is deserted so we've been enjoying some lovely walks.  Everything is pretty much the same here - the community spirit at Viva is welcoming and fun as it always has been - same people coming every year for their winter holidays. Some stay up to 6 months.

Les has joined 3 other shall we say 'older' gentleman on the tennis court every morning to play a game called 'pickle ball' which is like ping pong where players bat around a small hard ball with a paddle.  Then afterward, he often plays 30 minutes of tennis with his old friend Paul, who is a Dr. from San Francisco we met here on our first trip 6 years ago.  Paul, now 80, is in amazing shape. He drives south for his Baja holiday every year and stays for 5 weeks. Later in the afternoon, Les and Paul can be found playing Backgammon pool-side.

As many of you know in 2010, Les and I invited Mom and Dad to join us on our winter holiday. That year, we came for 3 weeks, and Mom and Dad rented their own beach front condo, staying for 5 weeks and enjoyed Christmas and New Years here with the Viva gang.  They returned to Viva with us in 2011 and had another extend stay - can't recall how long that time...think it was for 4 weeks, although they had planned to stay longer, Mom was ready to return home sooner.  Everyone here at Viva has asked about you Mom and Dad, and they all send their kind regards and best wishes.

Les and I were talking the other day about the many found memories we have our time together.  One thing we loved to do as a family, was play a game of doubles tennis every morning before it got too hot. Mom was a fantastic tennis player and we were all amazed at how well she played despite the dementia.  In the pics below, she is making some stellar shots, hitting the ball right back at Dad - who if I recall, wasn't able to return the ball (sorry Dad - LOL!) - and of course, she had the best player for a partner! After our tennis games, we'd often gather pool-side for a morning swim, and breakfast of yogurt, fruit and granola.  The days would unfold with beach walks and pool-side siestas.  We enjoyed many meals together... no trip to the Baja would be complete without a visit to the Tropicana to see the Mariachi- fantastic!  Here are some great pics....wishing you were here with us!!

Philip and Bella visits

for the past 4 days Bella and I have visited Dianna three times. I sat with her during her lunch time. She still is able to feed herself but as the picture shows I was helping her some of the time. she was a bit on the edge and got anxious a few times showing some frustration with herself. They have been having difficulties with her taking her meds and this may be the reason for the anxiety.

When I saw her today she was in her broda and resting with her eyes closed all the time I was there. She was not able to open her eyes for any length of time. Only once did she open her eyes to look at me and smile. It was very discouraging and filled me with remorse as I had a few tears on the way to the car. I left after staying only one hour.
It is clear to me now that Dianna cannot process thought or ideas. While she likes to talk much of what she says doesn't make sense. It is a tough time right now seeing her like this and knowing that it will only get worse.

PS..couldn't find the pic...it was only me helping Di eat.