Pretty in Purple

Some lovely pictures of Mom sporting her new purple outfit with neck pillow. Mom was a bit congested this day and had choked on a bite of her lunch.  Swollowing is hard for her when she can't have a good cough to clear her throat and lungs. Staff try to help her by using a suction machine to extract the fluid and she's used to this process now. With her neck hyperextended as it gets sometimes, the neck pillow really helps.

Christmas in Comox 2014

Our family gathered in Comox for Christmas this year and we enjoyed some good visits with Dianna at the Lodge over the holidays. Lisa and Scott's spouses - Lester and Lynn were able to join us this year.

Scott decorated the house from Mom's huge stash of Christmas goodies - her favorite garland, sleighs and of course the Xmas frogs. Lisa baked and cooked, and then baked and cooked some more! Sfeeha and Grapeleaves - traditional Syrian food for Christmas Eve. This year, we decided to have our turkey on Boxing Day so that we could enjoy leftovers and clear out the fridge - what a bounty!  We brought back an old family tradition and set up the card table as extra space to complete a puzzle - we enjoyed some quality family time. Everyone pitched in with dishes etc., and Superintendant Phil watched over the operations.

After brunch on Christmas day, we all visited with Mom at the Lodge.  Last year we took her some leftover Syrian food to enjoy but not this year because Mom eats purried food only now. We gave her a nice cozy new outfit in her favorite colour for her Xmas gift. She was clearly delighted to have her family around her, smiling and laughing.  Most visits now are quieter and less interactive on Mom's part.  Precious times together.

You'll notice the lovely purple neck pillow - a perfect gift from the Lodge staff to Momma!

Philip

Lester

From Phil...

It has been awhile since I last wrote an entry in Dianna'sblog.  When Lisa was here she wrote of her visits to seeDianna. Perhaps it is time I wrote an entry.

The truth is or should I say, the reality is that Dianna hasgone into what I call a sleeping funk meaning that shesleeps all day and night. It is such a deep sleep that onecannot wake her. On one visit she slept right through herlunch. She does manage to give you a smile when she firstsees you but then back to sleep she goes. On theseoccasions I would wait around for awhile but when itbecame obvious she was not going to wake up I left.

Dianna is not able to talk any more. She had been able tosay a few words and common phrases but for the most partshe is now silent. There are exceptions which I can explainlater.

Linda went to see Dianna yesterday and at my requestwrote of her visit.

"It was very nice. She was sitting in her chair near the nurses station and she smiled when she saw me.  She didn't say anything, just smiled.  I talked to her for a while and she closed her eyes so I just held her hand and read to her from a book I had taken with me.  A nurse came over as I was putting my coat on and I chatted with her for a while telling her about Dianna and how she made every day a party and I thanked for taking care of her." 

I myself had a pleasant visit today. Dianna was awesome.  She was awake, chatty and alert. I was surprised but gladto see she was in good spirits. I stayed and helped her eather supper and even had to tell her to stop talking so I couldgive her some food. Of course it was gibberish but therewere a few words that I picked up to get a general idea ofwhat she was talking about. This was the Dianna of a fewmonths ago. The day is a good illustration of howAlzheimer's is not a steady decline but it has its ups anddowns. Nevertheless it was great to have the time withDianna... a day to cherish.

Special visit

Mom was especially delighted to see us during a recent visit. She was alert and clear headed, greeting Scott with a 'hello Scott, how are you doing?'  Her smile was contagious :-)

We were delighted and decided to take a selfie of the three of us...

La La Land

Dad and I visited with Mom today and what a wonderful visit it was!  Mom was napping in the hall outside the dining room with her mouth open, so Dad was giving her a hard time about her snoring.  At one point, she seemed to drift into her world and Dad asked her 'where are you Dianna?' as a means to bring her back to us. She turned and looked at him, and immediately responded - ' La La Land'  Boy did we have a laugh!  Here's a great pic of Mom and Dad.

We stuck around for a couple of hours and really enjoyed our time with her. We helped Mom eat her lunch and took turns sharing stories.  From time to time she'd chime in with a word or two, a cheeky look or glance that told us she was with us and understood some of what we were talking about.  Mom enjoys wearing Dad's ball cap and she looks better in it than he does - ha ha ha!!

Best Place Possible

Visiting Mom at Cumberland Lodge these days makes me realize she is in the best place possible.   My last visit to Comox was at the end of August when I came to see Mom and Dad, and leave Bella with Dad to dog sit, while Lester and I went to Europe: Italy, Greece, Netherlands. What a wonderful family vacation - we were with Mom's siblings and spouses: Doug, Suzi, Linda, Paul, Vicky and Bruce. Lots of great memories that included Mom as we had many opportunities during the trip to reminisce about our travel (and life) experiences with her. This was a trip of a lifetime Mom would not have missed if not for Alzheimer's.  Mom...your presence was strong and with us every day of our journey.

As you might know from reading previous postings, Mom was transferred to a new single room in the 'lock down' section of the Lodge while I was away - mid September. This move was not because Mom is a wanderer (she can't walk), but rather had a lot to do with providing her with the best care at this stage of her life.  In this wing, there are fewer residents - it is a more intimate space. The ratio of caregiver to resident is higher than in the main lodge. So that means she's getting more personal attention and care. Her room is at the end of this wing, and is smaller, cozy and quiet, with a lovely view of the trees outside her window.

For the most part, Mom is doing fine. Some days she has a reoccurring issue with her neck which gets into a hyper-extended position, which seems to go hand-in-hand with congestion, making it a challenge for her to eat and drink.  The staff are not sure why this happens and when it does, they keep a close eye on her. Sometimes they have to use a suction machine to try and extract some of the fluid that gets trapped in the base of her throat.

Other days, she sits up right, seemingly stronger and more alert.  Overall, her disposition is quiet, peaceful and she smiles frequently.  I have a sense the move to this wing was a good one for her.  One of her Caregivers mentioned to me she feels Mom is in the best place possible and has really noticed how she is experiencing less agitation and seems more content and comfortable.

Mom continues to become more introverted - as in she has frequent and longer periods where she goes inward and seems to be in her own world, unaware of her outer surroundings.   When she is experiencing an ability to connect with her outer world and you are there visiting at that time, it's such a gift- a word or two of recognition, a touch and a brilliant 'I know you' smile!

Sights of autumn, Sound of Music and Thanksgiving

After many conversations with Philip some weeks back, it was decided that a fun thing to do would be to come for a visit sometime in the fall.  Given that Thanksgiving was fast approaching, it seemed like that was a logical choice for a visit with Dianna and Phil.
After sharing that with family, Matthew contacted me and said that he thought it would be great to make the trip together by car.  It's a long way, but I had done it last year with Melissa and was game to do it again. 
Plans were laid and ferry reservations were made.  We planned to leave on Saturday Oct 11 and return on Tuesday Oct 14.  That meant making the journey in one day each way.  But we had I-tunes downloaded and the company was good, so off we went. 
Given the weekend celebration of Thanksgiving, I opted for bringing all the fixings of a Thanksgiving Turkey supper.  What fun!
A few days prior to departure, I got a phone call from Lisa saying that Phil had been admitted to hospital with some health concerns.  Although we weren't sure when he would be discharged, we figured we would make the trip and plan the celebration regardless. Lynn and Scott joined us for the weekend too.
We got in late Saturday night and quickly made ourselves comfortable.  Sunday, Matt and Scott headed for a bit of fishing and I started the turkey stuffing.  I had the pleasure of a brief visit with neighbors David and Gil.. time is too short.  In the afternoon, we visited Phil in St. Joseph's and then made our way for the long anticipated visit with Dianna.  It was lovely to see her again, despite some of the clear changes since last being together last year.
The staff at the facility are amazing, competent, gentle, uplifting and respectful.  You can't ask for more.  Several immediately identified the family resemblance and had me pegged for a sister.   Although conversation was sparse, there was still opportunity for sharing and caring.  I have to say it was lovely to see Matt interacting with Dianna in addition to enjoying Scott and Lynn's company during the visit.
Dianna was seated comfortably in her Broda chair in the living room, nicely appointed with a big screen TV and a fireplace.  Very homey and a lovely view of the deck and the autumn colors outside.
Residents, slowly gathered and were offered refreshments.  We were welcomed and included in the social time.  The movie, Sound of Music started to play on the big screen TV.  A timeless film about a family as they met the challenges that they faced together.  One scene in the quiet, was a love song duet.  "So here you are standing here, loving me .... so somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good".  Yes indeed.  As I turned my head toward my sister, Lynn was holding her hand, while Scott and Matt were gently conversing with Dianna and each other.  This loving scene proved to me that absolutely Dianna ... you did do something good.  Something wonderful and you have the legacy of your family and friends far and wide to prove it.  I love you sister.



 ~~~~~

Later in the day, with the help of Scott, Lynn and Matt in the kitchen, we had a great thanksgiving dinner and made a plate (with extra gravy) to take to Phil. 
The visit was fleeting and the next day we were already making our way back, via Nanaimo, to visit with Linda.  Before doing so of course, we had the opportunity to have one more visit with Dianna.  She looked quiet and peaceful and it was clear that at times she was thinking days past when she was active, possibly reflecting on a meal that she had prepared as she spoke of baking.  Clearly these were happy thoughts as she smiled gently and sweetly. 
I still hear the song I mentioned  in my head.  And I am thankful. 

September begins a new year

I have seen Dianna daily spending one or two hours with her on each visit.  Bella has come with me most of the time. I am doggie sitting Bella while Lisa and Les are in Europe. Bella is good with the staff and residence of the Lodge and when I have been with Dianna she lays down and naps until we leave. As a rule my visits are 11/2 to 2 hours.
Over the last couple of weeks Dianna has been in her Broda chair in her room. Most times she is napping when we enter. I have been able to get her to wake but not always. She still recognises me and is always happy to see me. It is a quiet recognition now where as before she would get quite excited when I came into the room. Does this mean she is resigned to her situation? Hard to say. There are other signs that Dianna is more docile. Her speech is not as clear as it was. For some time now see has been limited to incoherent speech with the occasional word or phrase expressing an immediate response. It is no longer possible to get a yes or no from her.
On the positive side Dianna is seen by staff as a friendly person with a wonderful engaging smile. Three are some occasions when she has been abrupt with staff but these are few; if asked, she will tell you that she likes the staff.  Unfortunately because off her speech limitations she is not able to interact with other residents.
Two days ago the head of staff asked me how I felt about moving Dianna to another room in section 3. After looking at the room I decided the move would be good for Dianna. It does appear to have been a good move. I have visited her twice since the move and she says she likes it.  While smaller it is newly renovated and looks quite nice.  I got her a small flat screen tv which allows her to listen to music.  She does not watch tv programs.

Surprises

The visit on August 31 was not a pleasant one as Dianna was suffering from congestion. Her cough is not strong enough to get rid of the mucus and, in this condition she is very susceptible to choking. It is not a pleasant experience to see her struggling in these situations (this it's not the first time). It's clear that it takes a lot out of her physically. It was so upsetting to me that I left after a short visit. Lisa, Les, and Bella had arrived and stayed with her.

What really added to the situation was that it was our 51st anniversary. I had shared this with Di before I left but did not feel she either understood or cared given her struggle with congestion. 

When Lisa arrived home she's presented me with an orchid and a lovely card saying it was from Dianna. The tears flowed then as she told me  Dianna had wanted her to get me something. I didn't believe her because I knew the state Dianna was in. She assured me it was so..Dianna had wanted her to do this.

The next day we again went to see Dianna not sure what to expect. 
When we got there Dianna was much better. She was breathing without any  congestion and was quite pleased to see us. Lisa asked her if she had wanted her to get me anniversary gift. She said yes so Lisa told her what she had gotten for me. I was dumbfounded. Here I didn't think she really knew or cared about our anniversary. It was a wonderful surprise.

Another surprise came two days before when we received a card from Elaine Loehr wishing us all the best. In the card was a picture of Elaine with Carolyn Czarnecki and her sister, Marie along with Elaine's mother. A wonderful card Elaine. I read your kind words to Dianna and showed her the card. She recognized you and Carolyn but has never meet Marie. She was delighted to hear from you as was I.

Celebrations

Besides Mom's birthday August 28th, Scott celebrated his 48th B-day the following day - August 29th.  Scott, Dad, Les and I enjoyed dinner at the Griffin Pub in honour of the birthday boy.

AND, Today, August 31st, is Mom and Dad's 51st Wedding Anniversary - as Mom would say...Happy Happy!

Happy Birthday Dianna

August 28th is Dianna's birthday. Last year we celebrated it in the hospital while waiting for a bed in a nursing home for her. The call and invite to go to Cumberland Lodge came a few days later. Dianna would celibrate this birthday at the Lodge where she has been ever since.
She is comfortable within the Lodge which is now her home.

For her birthday I wanted to give her something special and so I decided she might enjoy a pedicure. I arranged to be with the lady who would do the pedicure to make sure Dianna would be receptive and have some awareness that this was a special birthday present for her. During the process, which went very well, Dianna alternated between sleep and awake. She couldn't see but she could feel the lady massaging her feet and touching her toes.As it turned out, she quite enjoyed all this touch and even though she couldn't see what was happening.She now has pink sparkly toenails which I will show her sometime when she is more alert.

At lunch the staff and residents sang Happy Birthday to her and I had tied two balloons to her chair. Dianna now seemed to have a greater awareness of the fact that it was her birthday.

During lunch I was told that one of Di's paintings received honorable mention at the Comox Valley Fall Fair and was on display with other Lodge entries on a table in the main hall. This was a pleasant surprise and went to have a look at it after I had taken Di back to her room. While admiring it Scott came in with coffee and flowers for Dianna from Lisa, Les, Lynn, and himself. Dianna was pleased too see him and as we chatted over coffee became more alert and also participated in our conversation.

It was tough to leave her but both Scott and I had other things we had to do. We left promising to return the next day.

Summer events

It's amazing how time flies. It seems only a short while ago that Kevan came to visit; he was great with her even though she couldn't place him at first but as is often the case with Dianna somewhere during his visit she recognized him. Glad that he took the time to see us.

In early August I flew back to Ontario to attend my brothers memorial. While there were some sad moments I did spend 4 days with my sister Marie. She is one great hostess and I treasured this short visit. Steve's memorial also gave me opportunity to connect with Jennette and family.

I then stayed with Kevan and Tab for the remainder of my visit. Kevan treated me to a day at the Rodgers Canadian Tennis Championship. In spite of their busy schedule of house building they were the great hosts they always are.

Shortly after I arrived back Dianna's brother, Doug, with Suzi, arrived from Florida via Calgary and Edmonton. He spent a few days with Paul and Vicky (Dianna's brother and sister) before flying here. Over a 3 day period they visited Dianna; sister Linda joined them on the last day. Dianna was delighted to see them and, I think surprised them with her demeanor and exuberance.  I too enjoyed their visit. Next time you must stay longer Doug and I hope it's not a whole year before we see you guys .

Dead At Noon

Hi everyone, this morning as I was sitting with a cup of coffee watching the news, a story caught my attention.  I woman from Bowen Island by the name of Gillian Bennett took her own life - she had dimentia.  She told her story about her decision to commit suicide and about her life, in a blog called 'dead at noon'. I'm still processing and have had a good cry - I'm not sure what to think or feel.

God bless you and your family Gillian with an abundance of Love, Joy and Peace!!

If you'd like to read Gillian's Blog, here it is:

http://www.deadatnoon.com/index.html

God Love Ya!

I went to see Mom after work today. She had just finished her dinner and was sitting quietly in the dining room.  When she saw me, she uttered another familiar greeting - 'God love ya!'  After a short visit in the dining room, I wheeled her back to her room.  Sitting on the bed and pulling Mom close to me, I sat holding her hands and relished our time together.  She was quite talkative and at one point told me she was concerned about me. I knew that would be about all I'd get from her and reassured her I was ok, that we were all ok and that she had nothing to worry about.  On a few occasions, our peaceful visit was interrupted with bouts of agitation where something seemed to be frightening to her - a hallucination of some kind. She screwed up her face and shouted something I couldn't understand. Ten seconds later the stress was gone and she was smiling.  I wonder what she sees, thinks and feel.  I pray she feels at peace as often as possible, safe and not too lonely.  And that she knows how much she is loved.   See you soon Mom...

Dianna's indomitable spirit

Mom's verbal communication is very poor now. Occasionally she'll say a word or short phrase that I recognize, but most of the time her chatter is incoherent and she is very soft spoken, to the point now where I can barely hear her at times. Despite this, Dianna's indomitable spirit continues to shine through. Connecting with Mom through spirit is the way in which we communicate now... a look or facial expression, a smile, a touch or an inner knowing that you are understood and loved. These are gifts that not even Alzheimer's can steal away. I hope you can see what I mean through these pictures...

There you are

I've been staying in Comox this past week while Dad visits his family back east, and have had several good visits with Mom. The first time she saw me which was last Wednesday, she said to me 'there you are'! as if she was expecting me.  Relief washed over me knowing in my heart that she still recognizes me.

Glue

It was about a year ago that I came to Comox with the intention of staying for a while to spend time with Mom - Dad too :-).  I was here for 2 months - the weather was beautiful and Mom was still at home - precious times. It's hard to believe a year has come and gone - puts me in a reflective state of mind as I realize how life has evolved and taken on a new shape.

I've been working from Comox the past week and have had several good visits with Mom. I'm grateful to be able to be here to spend time with her. Scott has been here working too and we've enjoyed the visit with Dad.  Last night, Scott bbq'd pork chops and made salty delicious KFC gravy to pour over mashed potatoes with jalapeño - nummy!  Oh - corn on the cob too. We enjoyed our meal and our time together, and when we visit Mom today, we'll be telling her about it. She likes to hear about what's going on and while we're not sure what she understands, we know she loves her family!  It's important for us to help her stay connected to her family, helping her to be a part of our lives.  Despite her circumstances, Mom is still the glue that keeps us together - as was and always will be.   Here's a great pic of Mom from my first visit with her this week- love that smile!  And a pic of Dad, Scott and I enjoying a lunch of Fish and Chips before going to see Momma...

Donkey Punch

A Donkey Punch is a cappuccino with chili flakes on the bottom and a generous portion of chocolate with whip cream to top it off. It is wonderful spicy hot coffee.

Two days ago I took one with me as I went to see Dianna. Of course she had to have some taking my drink before I had sat down. She wanted to try it. I told her it was hot, like in spicy hot so only take a sip. Not her. She proceeded to take a good mouthful getting a full guzzle. When she put the cup down she breathed out a WHEW and grinned from ear to ear. She loved it and wanted more.  See pic below.

The visit went well. Dianna was able to communicate better than usual so we had a good talk. She had lots to say and she asked me it I had heard from her family.  I could see she was disappointed when I told her no. She asked about Lisa and Scott.  I told her what I knew but had not heard from either recently. Again she was disappointed. We did have a few good laughs over her observations of some of the staff. She did reaffirm for me that she did like the Lodge and the people who work and live there.  The two hours went quickly.

I do want to make a couple of comments. First, in discussion with a good friend I was explaining my view that some of the strange things Dianna does, such as calling out my name as if I'm not there seemed to be a crying out for help. My friend was quick to point out that there is no way one can possibly know what she is thinking.

Secondly, it has been commented to me that this is not Dianna's blog but Lisa's suggesting the blog is more about Lisa's personal struggle with her Mom's illness.
I can't speak for Lisa but I can say this is true for me. The blog is a release mechanism that allows me to express the eternal hope I have for Dianna. What I write is for Dianna but I also choose events to write for me. Some would say I am still in denial which may well be true but I do believe one can always have hope and I will continue to do so.

A surprise visitor

Dianna was surprised when I walked into her room with a surprise visitor.  I told her that Kevan Caswell had come to see her.  Kevan is my late brother Steve's son.  As expected Dianna couldn't place him but, as I related various occasions when we spent time with him she seemed to have a clearer idea of who he is. While it is difficult to know what Dianna is thinking at the best of times I felt confident by her behavior that she knew him. I'm told Alzeimers patients often recognize people by their voice as voices don't change much.

Regardless, Di seemed comfortable with Kevan as she chatted with him saying enough that Kevan could pick out things she was talking about.

The next day we visited Dianna again and this time Scott joined us. Dianna was delighted to have this much company and made an effort to engage in conversation with us.  At one point Kevan mentioned Toronto and Dianna's reply was "been there, done that"..which got a good laugh from all of .  On another occasion she turned to Scott and Kevan and said"ignore him" (meaning me of course). She was in good spirit and quite enjoyed our visit as the picture shows.

Sisters Visit

Here is a note from Linda after her visit with Mom this past Monday...

Hi had a lovely visit with Dianna.  The bonus was that Phil was there so we three visited for about 45 minutes  and then he left.  Dianna looked much better than the last picture posted on the blog.

I read to her then and what a joy to me when she stroked my hand as I was reading..I think she was in her way telling me she knew I was there.  Naturally I had tears!! 

The nurse brought in her medication which she as very good in taking, not that she didn’t make a face because she did. Too funny.   The nurse commented that she must be hungry since she did not get up until 11:00 and missed breakfast so she brought her a banana which she “gobbled”.  I gave her a drink from her cup and was a little surprised that the liquid was very thick so I had to ask the nurse about that because i was not sure what I was giving her.  Found out all her liquids are now thickened  to help her swallow.

Next lunch came and OMG it was all pureed.  In former years Dianna would have been appalled because she was so particular in her cooking and presentation.   However, she ate everything and then started to fall asleep.  So I got another pillow for her to rest so her neck would not get stiff, told her I was leaving so she could have a nap, gave her a kiss and told her I loved her.

Got outside and cried.....Oh how I miss her!!!!

Dianna is back

It was a scary time.  We didn't know how serious the situation was. However, the antibiotics have worked.She is finally getting a good sleep whereas before the coughing was keeping her awake.

I was in to see her the last couple of days and clearly she was feeling better. I always know when Dianna is okay....she finds something to give me s--t for. You can see this in the pic below (trust me...she is not saying words of love)

Dianna struggles with chest congestion

Mom had a challenging day today. Her neck was hyper-extended once again and she seemed to have some chest congestion.  Dad was with her for about 2 1/2 hours during which time he was trying to help her clear out some of the fluid.  He had a discussion with the head nurse and they decided to use a piece of equipment designed to assist people to remove the congestion. A tube was inserted down Mom's air passage to suck up the fluid.  Later when Dad called the Lodge to see how she was doing, they reported Mom's breathing was much better.

Happy Birthday Lester!

This past Sunday June 8th was Lester's Birthday. Les ventured over to Comox last Friday to spend the weekend with me and Bella, and to see Mom - we enjoyed a couple of good visits.  Happy Birthday Lester!

 

A whole lot of Heart!

Dad has returned safely from Victoria having just had his pacemaker replaced. He was away for four days. Coincidently, he stayed at the Heart House while he awaited his procedure - this is the place where we had stayed 10 plus years ago with Mom before and during her Aortic Aneurysm repair at Jubilee Hospital.  It sounds like it's still a caring place of love, kindness and support for families and friends of loved ones who are undergoing heart related procedures at the near by hospital. Upstairs in Mom's linen closet is a small little red heart pillow which Mom received from the Heart House as a momentum of her journey.

I decided to stick around Comox a few days to keep an eye on Daddio who drove from Victoria to Nanaimo Sunday (against Dr.s wishes) to meet Les and I at Departure Bay. After sending Les off on the ferry, I drove Dad home but not without a stop at the Lodge to see Mom. We found her sitting in the dining room having just finished her lunch. She was alert and delighted to see him - as she called out his name and a smile lit up her face! It was wonderful to witness their exchange - a heart-to-heart reunion for the two of them. Mom asked Dad for a hug which he obliged of course.  Back at Mom's room a short while later, we sat with Mom and soaked up the moment, as did she. Mom was clearly enjoying our company and it was obvious how precious we are to her - Dad shot these nice pics...

Precious moments are Precious

I ventured up to see Mom again after work today arriving about 5:15. She was in the dining room against the wall in her broda chair and had just finished dinner.  Her food was served to her minced to make it easier for her to chew and swallow.  And I'm glad to say her eye has cleared up.

Mom didn't acknowledge me when I went to her and said hello. I can usually see a glimpse of recognition on her face, but not today. I wheeled her down to her room and positioned her by her bed in the sun. I turned on her favourite music station and sat on the bed to be close to her. As I gazed over her beautiful face, I noticed the hair on her chinny chin chin as she would say, was needing some attention, so I grabbed the tweezers out of her drawer and started to work. The first pull and Mom exclaimed 'Owie'! I apologized profusely and carried on. She was amazingly patient with me as I worked away. Afterwards, I gave her face, neck, arms and hands a rub down with a warm towel and massaged her skin with some cream.  Then I brushed her hair. Mom seemed to be relaxed and jibber-jabbered on about not much of anything understandable.  I was struck by how precious the moment was and wanted to stay there with her forever.  I understand the meaning of precious moments are precious because they will never be had again.

I left her asleep in her chair.

P.S...

As for me...I've decided to go off my low-glycemic diet tonight, and drink wine and eat bread, and am listening to Jan Arden's Where No-one Knows Me, and totally relating.

Tomorrow's another day and I'm hopeful.  Happy to report Mom is doing well tonight, resting with a clearer sounding chest.

Thanks to my Bro for your calm presence and for the good laugh, and to you Dad for being my Dad - Love you all very much!

Troubling Visit

I am grateful I'm able to work from Comox now - I arrived last night, and after a day's work, went to see Mom. It's been about a month since we've seen each other on account of the  Norwalk shut down, and my time at home to on-board my new job.

Mom recognized me, smiled and said my name - tears welled up in my eyes, as much as I tried not to. I was overwhelmed with emotion.  She was in her Broda chair in her bedroom by the window. The sun was shining in and she had the TV on.  You can see from these pics that she was struggling with her posture - her neck was hyper-extended and she was restless.  Also, her pallor wasn't good and her right eye was filled with a yellow discharge.

I sat with her for a bit before going to the dining room to fetch her dinner so we could visit while she ate in her room.  Dinner was a pork stew with brown rice and canned green beans.  Mom wasn't able to feed herself today - I think her neck situation was a part of the problem.  I started to feed her meal to her which she took with some degree of interest. I noticed the chunks of meat where a bit challenging for her to swallow as she was coughing some.  The next bite was trouble - when she swallowed, she started to cough and try and clear her throat, but she is somewhat congested today and it wasn't working. Coughing is hard for Mom these days.  Then I could see she was in trouble. I jumped up and reached behind her to get her sitting more upright and was about to reach in to her mouth when someone walked by her room.  I yelled 'help!' and the care-aide came running in. Bella leaped up and barked and scared the crap out of all of us.  She was startled. I shouted 'Mom's choking' and she ran out to get help. Seconds later, there was team of 4 in the room working with Mom.  I moved out of the way and over to calm Bella (and myself).  They managed to help Mom clear a chunk of meat out of her airway. She was frightened and extremely agitated as you can imagine!  They were going to try and clear her lungs and throat with a machine that would be inserted into her airway but decided against it considering Mom's state.  I assured them I would be with Mom for a while and they left.  I sat with her and massaged her neck and stroked her hair encouraging her to relax, which she did.  Within a few minutes she was leaning back with her eyes closed. I continued for while and then decided it was time to go. I left her in peace. The pics might be a bit scary to you, but rest assured, she's doing ok.

On my way out I had a chat with Tammy one of the care-aides, asking her to report Mom's eye and congestion to the head nurse. I'll call later tonight to see how Mom's doing and to see if we can get a Dr. in to see her.